Driven Crazy By Citiot Drivers

first_imgThe Murphy who inspired Murphy’s Law — where if something can go wrong, it will — was a licensed driver.Actually, he was Air Force Capt. Edward Murphy, who coined the phrase at Edwards Air Force Base in California in 1949, working as an engineer on Air Force Project MX981, testing to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash —an experiment city drivers update every Friday night in the Hamptons.So, if driving these days is driving you nuts, don’t feel special. In Ohio in 1895, it has been reported, there were just two gasoline operated automobiles in the entire state. And they collided.One of the drivers must have been named Murphy. I would not be surprised if the other motorist was named Hamill.Whether the Ohio story is true or apocryphal, I was thinking about it and Murphy recently as I sat behind the wheel on Montauk Highway driving from East Hampton to Bridgehampton, inching toward a DWI checkpoint. Even though I haven’t had a sip of alcohol since 1991, I got nervous.Because when I’m driving, Murphy’s Law applies and something always seems to go wrong.Do I have a dead taillight?Will the cops spot that Tylenol I dropped on the floor while driving out from the city and lock me up until the lab can confirm, after a weekend in lockup, that it’s only a Tylenol?What if it’s a potassium cyanide poisoned Tylenol, like the ones that killed seven people in Chicago in 1982?Will they try to pin those old unsolved murders on me? Or take me for a Russian agent looking to bump off opponents of pro-Trump Congressman Lee Zeldin?Are you allowed to operate a motor vehicle on amoxicillin and Tylenol, which I was taking for an infected throat?Will the Chicken Marsala I had for lunch ignite the breathalyzer?If the cop asks me to walk a straight line, will I be so nervous that I look like the scarecrow pratfalling toward the Wizard of Oz and I wind up in a beige jailhouse jumper in front of no-nonsense Justice Steven Tekulsky at the East Hampton Town Justice Court, having my license suspended and remanded on a mistaken ICE warrant hold?“But I’m only taking antibiotics and Tylenol for a bad throat, your honor,” I imagine myself pleading.“Sure, and you were only slugging the Marsala for that chest cough,” I conjure Tekulsky saying, his face like a brick in the Riverhead lockup where he has me frog-marched in chains.At the DWI stop, a very polite town cops asks, “How are you, sir?”“F-f-fine,” I say, like Stuttering John from the old Howard Stern show.“Anything to drink this evening?”“N-n-not since October 9, 1991.”I realize this is probably before he was born.“Ninety-one,” he says, smiling. “Okay, have a nice evening, sir.”I was discussing the horrors of driving with an East End native recently and she laughed because I’m a Brooklyn born subway “straphanger” who didn’t even learn to drive until I was 26, when I moved to Los Angeles to write a newspaper column.My astounded editor’s first assignment: “Go to driving school.”After I got my license, I rented an apartment in Santa Monica, where my landlord looked like a human rock-climbing wall. His name was Arnold Schwarzenegger whose idea of evening humor was to walk to the carport in the rear of his apartment complex, light a big cigar, and watch me adding new dents to my leased Ford Mustang by crashing into the support columns. When I left my headlights on all night and the car wouldn’t start, I rang Arnold’s bell.“Arnold, my car won’t start, think you can carry it down to the gas station for a jump?”We had good laughs about my driving prowess and him insisting to me that he was going to be a “moofie stah.” To which I would say, “Not with that accent and that name.”Guess who had the last laugh?Anyway, after I finished my driving history with my East End native friend she laughed and said, “Okay, so, the East End locals know in the winter driving is scary because you gotta watch out for deer popping out unexpectedly. During the summer, it’s the ‘cities,’ aka ‘citiots,’ doing unexpected things like just stopping dead in the middle of the road to take a cell phone call. Or trying to fit their enormous Range Rovers into the ‘small space lot’ in East Hampton Village.”She says a native friend was walking out of Stop & Shop on a recent morning and sensed a scary presence behind her. “She turned and it was a big Mercedes driving on the sidewalk! Right behind her! The motorist didn’t want to wait behind the person at the parking ticket station, so he created another lane that was half road/half sidewalk.”That’s why natives call ‘em “citiots.”She says it used to be if locals saw a black Range Rover, they’d think it was citiot trouble. “Before that, you’d give a Mercedes sedan plenty of room,” she says. “The latest citiot car to watch for is the Mini Cooper. See one of them and you can be pretty sure the citiot driver’s gonna do something crazy.”Her theory from a lifetime of defensive driving is that the summers here attract entitled out-of-towners who only drive when they’re in the Hamptons.“So they have no skills or experience,” she says. “But also, many just don’t care.”Some of her other favorite citiot observations include: Out-of-town 18-wheelers with drivers who don’t know how tall their trucks are, hitting the North Main Street trestle and peeling their truck tops off like sardine cans; meek traffic control officers dressed in black polyester in sweltering August, hiding behind parked cars because they can’t take one more obnoxious city driver yelling at them, or almost running them over; an entire Facebook group formed out of traffic/driving complaints called “Douchebags of the Hamptons,” riddled with photos of mostly “cities” parking in two or three spots, or illegally in handicapped spots.“One of my favorite is the citiot double-parking directly in front of the store you want to visit, even though there’s an empty space three cars up,” says the driven nuts East End native.My favorite of her stories involved a friend of hers who went to leave a busy village parking lot one day when two citiot drivers converged, honking at each other and facing off for his spot. “They were playing chicken and had inched so close, he couldn’t get out of the spot that they wanted to get into. So, he pulls back in, puts the car in park, climbs out, and takes his bike out of the back of his truck and cycles home.”Like the two sole motorists who crashed into each other in Ohio in 1895 and the man who in 1949 at Edwards Air Force Base said, “If something can go wrong, it will,” my guess is that at least one of those two citiot drivers had to be named Murphy.Good chance the other one’s name was Hamill . . . Sharelast_img read more

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A Haven For Digital Storytelling

first_imgAn eight-year-old guest interacts with DIMONscape of Havens House.The Shelter Island Historical Society has been eagerly working to expand its center for the past four years, with a newly renovated Havens House. Now, it has teamed up with visual arts creator, Roz Dimon, to install a permanent digital piece. It’s a juxtaposition of storytelling, where historic wheels, beams, and artifacts meet a new age of artistic narrative through DIMONscape of Havens House.How did you get involved with the Shelter Island Historical Society?They heard about the work I was doing in digital media. I had invented a new kind of storytelling process. Executive director Nanette Lawrenson worked with the board and they approved commissioning me to do a piece after I showed them a few other DIMONscapes I had done. I applaud them, because they took a leap into the unknown. It is a new kind of art. You look up, and right above you are the beams from the 1700s. So, it’s interesting. It’s permanently installed; anybody can go in.Describe the piece.It’s 36 inches high by 48 inches wide. It’s called DIMONscape of Havens House. It has a bronze plaque dedicated to Phyllis Wallace, who worked for the historical society as its archivist. And it was a surprise for her. So, it’s a great way to commemorate someone. It also has a QR code in the bronze plaque, and you can go off with your phone or any digital device.How did you wind up in this field of artwork?Accidentally. I started as a painter. I was living in New York City and in the 1980s, my paintings began to fill up with squares and pixels before I even knew what a pixel was. That really threw a curveball into my painting career. I took the earliest courses in digital art at the School of Visual Arts, and have been in digital media ever since . . . painting with it. I also do other works on oil and other things. But that’s been my primary medium.What’s your process?I make the art in the computer with a digital brush and digital canvas, which has been very sophisticated. My graduate school was the World Trade Center, where I headed up these new media teams, and I learned a lot about doing business and corporate design, and I really enjoyed that. I like to bring all that together when I work with a someone who positions a DIMONscape. It’s a business process, and it’s artwork. I like to invite everyone into a piece, so they aren’t intimidated by a contemporary work of art. It’s been fun to watch.Aside from Havens House, where can we find another piece?I have a DIMONscape that had been acquired by the National 9/11 Memorial Museum in Manhattan. It’s part of its permanent collection. It’s four-foot high by three-foot wide — a piece about finding hope, when all is lost. You can take any smart device and click on the label beside the painting. It’s still, but it’s a digital collage. You can go inside the painting as it’s being built. There’s a voiceover and it’s almost like you’re like the artists making the art. You go deep inside the layers of the piece.How has the next generation responded to you?I’m meeting a lot of young people through those interested in digital because I’m really dealing in the space. You’re going deep in a painting. It has a story that’s analog. That’s one of my mission statements, to bring people into my art and have a different relationship with the viewer, but while still being a serious work of art.What mark on the art world are you hoping to make?It’s a serious work of art to be contemplated, but it’s also a website. It’s a very different kind of website that actually goes with a painting so you can learn history. We’re overwhelmed by imagery. Everybody has to compete with iPhones. I think young people will be using this. I think I’m part of something that’s growing. A painting of a painting of a painting. I think it’s in a sort of Renaissance. Digital media is where it’s at.See more of Roz Dimon’s work at www.rozdimon.com and visit the Shelter Island Historical Society at 16 South Ferry Road on Shelter Island. Its website is www.shelterislandhistorical.org.nicole@indyeastend.com Sharelast_img read more

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Air Products launches Freshline QuickChill Injector

first_imgSource: Air ProductsAir Products operates a state-of-the-art food lab in Allentown, Pennsylvania, where it can test a customer’s product on production-scale equipment to help determine the feasibility of using cryogenics in their process, quantify the cost versus benefits of using cryogenics, and optimise their food processing operation.Read more like this – subscribe todayEnjoyed this story? Subscribe to gasworld today and take advantage of even more great insights and exclusives in industrial gases.Visit www.gasworld.com/subscribe to access all content and choose the right subscription for you. The QuickChill Injector allows food manufacturers to chill sauces and liquids in minutes through the rapid cooling power of liquid nitrogen whilst complying with USDA cooling guidelines that require cooked liquid products to be chilled to 4°C (40°F) within five to six hours.The unit comes in a standard model that can be fitted to a variety of new or existing kettles and vessels, eliminating the need to invest in additional kettles, equipment or floor space.With optional Air Products Process Intelligence technology, food manufacturers can monitor, control and track injector operation through a temperature sensor and IIoT-enabled communication technology.last_img read more

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BOEM offers 4399 offshore blocks. Attracts bids for 24

first_imgU.S. Bureau of Ocean Energy Management (BOEM) on Wednesday held a lease sale offering acreage in 4399 blocks across 23.8 million acres million in the Gulf of Mexico, offshore Texas.The Lease Sale 248, as it was officially called, attracted 24 bids from only three oil and gas exploration companies which took part in the bidding round, BHP Billiton, BP, and ExxonMobil.There were no competing bids for the same acreage. The sum of all bids submitted was a little over $18 million.BHP Billiton, an Australian energy giant, offered the most bids. The company offerred to acquire acreage over 12 blocks in the U.S. Gulf of Mexico, located in East Breaks and Alamino Canyon areas.By the number of bids submitted, BP was the second. The British oil major filed bids for ten blocks, all situated in the Garden Banks area of the Gulf.Also, U.S. supermajor ExxonMobil submitted two bids for two blocks situated in the East Breaks areas. Worth noting, of all the bids submitted, the highest one for a single block was filed by ExxonMobil – $1.25 million. However, when all the bids are summed up, BHP Billiton offered almost $10 million, BP $6.3, and ExxonMobil $1.75 milion.In this sale, BOEM offered 23.8 million acres in federal waters offshore Texas for oil and gas exploration and development. The three companies submitted bids for blocks covering 138.240 acres.Director Abigail Ross Hopper said: “Though this sale reflects today’s market conditions and industry’s current development strategy, the bidding confirms that there is continued interest in the deepwater areas of the Gulf”.Today’s sale in New Orleans, Louisiana, was the first federal offshore oil and gas auction broadcast live on the internet.Sale 248 included approximately 4,399 blocks, located from nine to 250 nautical miles offshore, in water depths ranging from 16 to more than 10,975 feet (5 to 3,340 meters). As a result of offering this area for lease, BOEM estimates a range of economically recoverable hydrocarbons to be discovered and produced of 116 to 200 million barrels of oil and 538 to 938 billion cubic feet of natural gas.Following today’s sale, each bid will go through an 90-day evaluation process before a lease is awarded.Offshore Energy Today Stafflast_img read more

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Reach and grasp

first_imgGet your free guest access  SIGN UP TODAY Stay at the forefront of thought leadership with news and analysis from award-winning journalists. Enjoy company features, CEO interviews, architectural reviews, technical project know-how and the latest innovations.Limited access to building.co.ukBreaking industry news as it happensBreaking, daily and weekly e-newsletters Subscribe to Building today and you will benefit from:Unlimited access to all stories including expert analysis and comment from industry leadersOur league tables, cost models and economics dataOur online archive of over 10,000 articlesBuilding magazine digital editionsBuilding magazine print editionsPrinted/digital supplementsSubscribe now for unlimited access.View our subscription options and join our community To continue enjoying Building.co.uk, sign up for free guest accessExisting subscriber? LOGIN Subscribe now for unlimited accesslast_img read more

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Sell-off squad soldiers on

first_imgGERMANY: The coalition government in Berlin appears determined to make one final effort to sell off part of the national railway before the forthcoming 2009 general election.Previous attempts to privatise Deutsche Bahn AG have collapsed in the face of political opposition focused mainly on the possibility of the national rail infrastructure being taken out of state ownership, which under the German constitution is a legal requirement. Concern has also been expressed among the Länder that regional and rural routes would be closed or run down as private investors sought to gain a return from the most profitable services. Transport Minister Wolfgang Tiefensee sought to mollify criticism by careful wording of the draft legislation, but this only led to further argument and the government has now backed down.The revised formula would leave track, power supply and stations in state ownership, and DB would be restructured as a holding company from which freight and passenger operating companies would be hived off as subsidiaries that could be offered to the private sector. A tentative timetable for the sale process was leaked to the German media in mid-February. If this is correct, the DB board would approve changes that would turn it into a holding company by the end of March, with the holding company registered as a new business by the end of May. An extraordinary general meeting would then be held in July to approve the sale of the freight and passenger operating companies – DB Chairman Hartmut Mehdorn has said he would like the sale to go ahead by October. With DB as a whole valued at €20bn to €25bn, sale of a 49·9% stake would raise about half that amount.Clearly all this would only happen if the government were to agree, and suggestions that DB would go ahead anyway led to strenuous denials from both DB and the government – although the transport ministry has confirmed that the holding model is being examined. In the meantime, the left-wing of the Social Democratic Party and green factions are committed to resist a sell-off, and the government cannot assume it will succeed with any revised draft of its legislation. Formal debate was postponed until after a local election in Hamburg on February 24.last_img read more

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MV Carnival Sunshine to make inaugural call to Dominica

first_imgLocalNews MV Carnival Sunshine to make inaugural call to Dominica by: – December 4, 2015 Roseau, Dominica, December 4, 2015 –MV Carnival Sunshine of Carnival Cruise Line will make its inaugural call to Dominica on Saturday 5 December 2015 at the Roseau Cruise Ship Berth. This is the first of its two (2) calls to Dominica for the 2015/2016 cruise season. The Carnival Sunshine entered service in November 1996 as the “Carnival Destiny”. After a major renovation in 2013 and upgrade to Carnival’s “Fun Ship 2.0” standard it was renamed “Carnival Sunshine”. It is a “Destiny Class” ship, but has one deck less than its sisters “Triumph” and “Victory”. It has a length of about 272 meters, accommodating up to 3,002 passengers and being the first cruise ship ever built with a gross tonnage of more than 100,000.To mark the Ship’s inaugural call, a Welcome Ceremony to include plaque exchange will be held aboard the ship at 10:00am. Government Officials and tourism stakeholders will be present to officially welcome the ship’s captain and crew. A total of one hundred and seventy four (174) cruise calls are projected for the cruise season. This translates to approximately 290,000 passengers. Additionally, Dominica will welcome nine (9) new cruise ships. Inaugural ceremonies to include plaque exchange will be organized to welcome the ships. While the 2015/2016 will have 9.4% less cruise calls than the one hundred and ninety two (192) received during the 2014/2015 season, there is a projected 5.8% increase in passengers. During the 2014/2015 season Dominica welcomed 274,346 cruise passengers.DDA will continue to work with the relevant authorities to enhance the appeal of our City and cruise sites and therefore solicits the cooperation of all tourism stakeholders in ensuring a welcoming and enjoyable visit for the cruise visitors. We ask that every effort is made to ensure a safe, friendly, clean and hassle free atmosphere for cruise visitors. Sharing is caring! Share Sharecenter_img Tweet Share 277 Views   no discussionslast_img read more

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KSRM Week In Review 10/24 – 10/28

first_imgMonday 10/24 Pick.Click.Give Doubles Soldotna Man’s Dividend, Soldotna Bridge Restricted Through October, First Cannabis Lab Opens In Anchorage, Two Kenai Peninsula Teachers Named Teacher Of The Year Finalists Tuesday 10/25 Soldotna To Bring Back Wintertime Grocery Tax, Ostrander Chosen As Kenai’s Next City Manager, 500lb Rocks Fell In Closed Whittier Tunnel, Pick.Click.Give Donations Down For The First Time Since 2009 Thursday 10/27 FacebookTwitterEmailPrintFriendly分享The KSRM News Department compiled some of the top stories from this past week. Wednesday 10/26 KPB Assembly Policy On Prayer Survives Mayoral Veto, Murkowski Campaign Denies Wrongdoing In Miller Accusations, Marijuana Control Board To Discuss Handler’s Permit, Nikiski Middle/High Teacher And Coach Cited For Indecent Exposure Friday 10/28 Forbes Ranks Richest People In America By State,Walker Pausing Plan To Sell Pension Bonds, No Agreement In Senate, Nikiski Marijuana Cultivator Weeks From First Commercial Harvest, Health Insurance Rates Going Up In Alaska, Remembering Pat Hawkins… Power Outage Affects 9,600+, Victim Of Seward Bear Attack In ‘Fair’ Condition, Borough Assembly Approves Funding For CPH OB Wing, Libertarian VP Bill Weld In Alaska, Praises Murkowski, Fishing, Hunting License Fees To Rise Jan 1last_img read more

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Tosa, Sakamoto to run in ekiden

first_img GET THE BEST OF THE JAPAN TIMES IN FIVE EASY PIECES WITH TAKE 5 Catherine Ndereba, who took the marathon silver in Athens, will head the Kenyan team while defending champion Ethiopia will have Meseret Defar, who won the Olympic 5,000-meter gold, as one of its members. center_img Reiko Tosa and Naoko Sakamoto, who both ran in the women’s marathon at the Athens Olympics last summer, are among six runners on the Japanese team in the Yokohama International Women’s Ekiden later this month, athletics officials said Tuesday.The Japan Association of Athletics Federations said Tosa and Sakamoto will run at the Feb. 27 ekiden, which begins and ends at Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse in the port city’s Minato Mirai redevelopment zone.last_img read more

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Japanese horses 1-2 in Melbourne Cup

first_imgMELBOURNE, Australia – Japan-based Delta Blues edged Japanese stablemate Pop Rock to win the 3,200-meter Melbourne Cup on Tuesday and give trainer Katsuhiko Sumii a 1-2 finish in Australia’s most prestigious horse race.“Very happy, very happy,” said jockey Yasunari Iwata in halting English after he crossed the finish line on 6-year-old Delta Blues at Flemington just ahead of second favorite Pop Rock, ridden by Australian jockey Damien Oliver. GET THE BEST OF THE JAPAN TIMES IN FIVE EASY PIECES WITH TAKE 5center_img Iwata, who has ridden more than 3,000 winners in Japan, said through an interpreter he would celebrate “Australian-style: elbow-bending,” indicating he would have a few drinks with friends.Australian entry Maybe Better, ridden by Chris Munce, was third, 4 1/2 lengths behind.Zipping, ridden by Glen Boss, who won the Cup for three straight years aboard the now-retired Makybe Diva from 2003-2005, was fourth. English horse Land ‘N Stars, one of seven foreign horses in the field, was the next-best among the visitors, finishing fifth.Under overcast skies, the leading jockeys gave each other high-fives as they cantered down the track after their two-horse duel in the final 200 meters to the finish.The last overseas horse to win the Melbourne Cup was Media Puzzle in 2002 and the first Irish galloper Vintage Crop in 1993, both trained by Irishman Dermot Weld.Delta Blues and Pop Rock were bred and are owned by Katsumi Yoshida who, with his two brothers, owns Shadai Farm in Sapporo.Trainer Sumii broke down in tears after the Melbourne Cup was presented. “Unbelievable, really unbelievable,” Sumii said as he hugged his associates in the ring.“It was fantastic performance for the Japanese here,” said Oliver. “I raised Yasunari’s hands after the finish because I knew he had me.”Australian trainers who did not fare well in the race paid tribute to the Japanese stable.“Good on them, they put so much money into their racing and breeding and I take my hat off to them,” Zipping’s trainer Graeme Rogerson said.John Hawkes, whose three runners Railings, Headturner and Dizelle finished in the second half of the field, agreed.“It’s a great job to do what they’ve done,” Hawkes said. “All credit to them.”More than 100,000 spectators watched the 5 million Australian dollar ($3.85 million) race at Flemington, which held its first Melbourne Cup in 1861.Irish stayer Yeats, ridden by English jockey Kieren Fallon, led for a short time in the final 1,000 meters but faded and finished seventh.Italian jockey Frankie Dettori, riding in his 11th Melbourne Cup, rode English horse Geordieland to an 18th-place finish in the 23-horse field. Tawqeet, the pre-race Melbourne Cup favorite, had a hoof injury Monday night and was only cleared to race on Tuesday morning. The 5-year-old finished 19th and never threatened. last_img read more

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